Isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

thought i'll just stop at my first post for today. but too bad my creative juice is just flowing like mad today and there's too much in me to hold. i need to let it all out. first of all an introduction of course, i am Trina and there's no picture of me in this blog yet because i am using multiple computer most of the time now ( in fact for the past 6 mths!) and my pictures are everywhere which i hate and this is one of the reasons am feeling so fucked up lately. it might sound crazy that am just feeling this way because of some pictures but thing is...it's not just my pictures. actually all my personal belongings are scattered everywhere. long story and i don't think u wanna know and am too lazy to explain as well so let's not waste time on this.

like what my title said "isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?" this is so true isn't it? why would anyone want anyone to hate them? we are all human n human are meant to be loved n give love. that's how we are. but the world is changing to something am so unfamiliar with..life just isn't simple anymore. humans are getting much more complicated then they should be. scheming for this or that. u know...perhaps or rather am sure this is the reason i hate growing up, always have always will. it just suck out all the innocence and happiness out of you. anyway i read this blog from this popular DJ in Singapore lately and she posted up this poem about GROWING UP which i can totally reflect to. so i am gonna share with you people out there. see!!! i care and i share. hahahaha!!!

GROWING UP
When you grow up your best friends become your worst enemies.
Lollipops turn into cigarettes, the innocent ones turn into sluts.
Homework goes in the trash. Cellphones are used in class.
Detention becomes suspension. Soda becomes vodka.
Underwear turns into thongs. Kisses turn into sex.
Remember when getting high meant swinging on the playground?
When protection meant wearing a helmet.
When dad's shoulders were the highest place on earth and mom was your hero.
The only drug you knew was cough medicine.
The only thing that could hurt you was skinned knees and goodbye only meant until tomorrow?
The only thing you could cheat in was a game, and players were for sports not relationships?
The only thing we could change was our clothes and not ourselves.
Yet, we absolutely could not wait to grow up.
And now growing up is our worst fear.

sigh...right? perhaps it is true am kinda negative in some ways but i think somehow that makes me a better person. i pretty much enjoy just being lost in my own thoughts and just think about anything and everything, be it negative or positive. i don't believe in laughing off everything and taking everything too lightly. i grow up having to think for myself and my future all the time. to be frank i have no role model to look up to since young. so yup i am mould into this person. i can get upset, emo, happy all in an instant. think i am confusing you. but i am confused myself. i still have not figure out who i am yet. but i bet am not the only one, how many people out there actually knows what they want, who they are, what they are doing all the time? we are just human after all... :)